BDSM – Demeaning To The Sub ?

BDSM is something that is practiced in many households nowadays. Believe it or not but almost every single couple that has been involved for a number of years have engaged in at least a mild form of BDSM during their relationship. BDSM in a nutshell is a type of role play which involves restraint, sensory stimulation and of course dominance and submission. The role of the dominator may change from session to session, but more often than not once you have a fixed role you are confined to that for the duration of the relationship. The question I am looking to answer today is whether BDSM relationships can actually be demeaning to the submissive partner.

In my personal opinion I really do not feel that BDSM can in anyway be demeaning towards the submissive partner. The reason for this is that more often than not the person has put themselves in that position by choice. Sure, some people are forced into that position but it happens a lot less than you may be led to believe. Therefore can something really be demeaning if you are put into that position by choice?

In a relationship each partner will generally fall into either being dominant or submissive, this is based on their personalities. It can be seen as demeaning as the dominant person in the relationship can be seen to actually take advantage of those that have slightly more submissive personalities, they are pretty much able to get them to do anything you want them to do. The submissive person feels that they actually have to give in so that they can please their partner. In my opinion, forcing someone to do something that they really don’t want to can actually be demeaning for them. The thing to mention is that the submissive partner is normally for the female, many people believe that males should not have dominance over a female and that it is a thing of the past, although of course these people are generally agree to it. Should it really matter what other people think outside of your own house?

The basic principle of BDSM is that it involves demeaning treatment of the slave, the slave can always turn around and say no if they do not want to do something. It really does make sense to establish what the limits are before engaging in BDSM. This is because once it begins cries that you do not want to do something may fall on deaf ears due to the whole fantasy role play thing.

In conclusion it is hard to decide whether BDSM relationships can actually be seen as demeaning. On one hand both parties involved in the act have agreed to predefined limits, therefore treatment cannot be seen as demeaning as it has been agreed to. On the other hand the entire definition of BDSM means that there must be some sort of demeaning treatment involved for it to actually work. Therefore it is really down to what each individual feels. If they believe that they do not like the treatment they have been subject to they can always say no.